I tell myself I don’t need anyone but the truth is, no one really needs me. I care & listen to others. I always care & listen to others. That’s my problem. It’s easier for me to fake that smile and say that I’m fine than have to explain why I am unhappy.
I feel like I flit between two different worlds. One when I close my eyes at night where I hope to fall asleep before I fall apart, where I live a happy life, married with children with a white picket fenced house, a car and a good job, a life where I have many friends and socialise and am truly happy. And then the other world which I currently live where I am single no kids, no house, no car or job, a few friends and where I hardly socialise and feel truly unhappy.
I’ve made mistakes and continue to make them, but never seem to learn from them.
I’m not worthless, I believe I can and so I will. I fail over and over again, but I know I will end up happy in the end as long as I keep pushing myself.
I just need to remind myself of that everyday.
So bear with me whilst I do this and follow me on my challenging journey.